June is Pride Month!
It’s a celebration of all members of the LGBTQIA+ community and their allies, a celebration of the fact that they all are alive and beautiful, and are God’s beloved children. Not sure what LGBTQIA+ stands for? Read about it here: https://abbreviations.yourdictionary.com/what-does-lgbtqia-stand-for-full-acronym-explained.html
The more you know, the more sensitive you can be with the words you choose, the questions you ask, and how you treat people who may not fit into any of the boxes our society has created.
We have been trained to think that there are men and women and that’s it. Boys and girls. Blue and pink. You’ve got to pick one. Now we are learning that’s not enough. Boys can love pink, and girls can wear blue. It’s okay for boys to play with dolls or toy kitchens, and girls to have their own tool box and work on cars. All expectations on who a person “should be” are shifting. This leaves a lot of uncertainty and confusion for those who were raised differently. But it also creates a significant amount of freedom.
I caught myself making a sexist comment when I was in the nursery with Trinity Tots last month. I moved away from the train track and said, “I’ll let the men fix it.” But then I thought, what message am I sending to the kids in the room? Why can’t I fix the tracks? The reality is, I’m not a very handy person. But it’s not because of my gender. It’s because of my lack of interest, and training, although my father did try. (I also like to state the fact that I’m lefthanded as an excuse.) If I wanted to be more adept at fixing things, I could learn. All girls or women can learn, just as all boys and men can learn to cook or sew.
And again, I’m writing in binary language: male and female. That’s limiting, and it excludes human beings who don’t fit into either of those categories. There’s a whole spectrum between male and female. Again, it’s confusing and unsettling to those who have been raised in that binary thinking. But it also broadens our perspective. We’re just people, friends. We’re human beings. And we have a right to choose how we want to be addressed: As “she” or “he”, as “they” or “ze.”
The first step we can take is not to assume we know someone’s gender. Avoid using pronouns until we know which pronouns they prefer. We can also be proactive and add our pronouns to our church nametags, email signatures, Zoom name, social media profiles. Stating that I go by “she/her” makes it safe for others to disclose their pronouns.
Lots to learn and discover. Let’s be open, humble and curious, kind and compassionate. And let’s celebrate all the colors of the rainbow – including yours!
With Love,
Pastor Valeria (she/her).
