Monday, March 12, 2018

#Metoo

Yesterday we talked about when it's okay and necessary to say "no." We talked about trusting your own gut and setting boundaries about what you are and are not comfortable with. If someone touches you, even to shake your hand or give you a well-intended hug and that makes you uncomfortable, it's okay to say "no, I don't like that." We also told our kids how important that is. We teach them to be polite and do what adults ask them to. But if it makes them uncomfortable or just feels wrong, they need to know that they have the right to refuse. 
Thousands and thousands of women have been coming forward and said: "Me too. I have been assaulted or sexually harassed." And there are thousands more who have not come forward. Something basic in our society needs to change. We need to teach our children (boys and girls) that it's okay to say "no" and that "no" means "no." We need to ask permission before we touch someone, and not be offended by the response. We don't know what our touch might trigger in them. It most likely has nothing to do with us but with a past experience. This will take a major shift in our thinking as a society. But we need to start somewhere. And we need to start now. 
Jesus protected the dignity and safety of every person he encountered: men, women and children. He didn't make any assumptions on what they wanted or needed. Instead he asked them, "What do you want me to do for you?" (Mark 10:36 and 10:51.) I think that should be our model. 
I pray for healing for all who have suffered, and are currently suffering, sexual abuse or harassment. I pray for those who seem to know no healthy and respectful way of getting their needs met and use their power to threaten and intimidate. I pray for our children that they may grow up with confidence, loving themselves enough to speak up. And I pray for all of us, that we may take the lead on this, to set clear boundaries and respect the boundaries of others. 

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